Have you ever found yourself in despair? Despair comes because of the absence of hope. I remember, more than a few times, I have been in this situation. In particular one event comes to mind when I truly was at a point of giving up. I needed something, even if it was only a little something to restore some hope in me. It has been interesting to reflect on the times I felt despair and the loss of hope, how all it took was one thing to restore my hope back. Perhaps not to the level it was at, but to a level of hope that kept me from giving up.
What exactly is hope then? This is something I have been contemplating quite a bit as I sat down to write this blog. It seemed to me describing hope was like describing the taste of salt. We all know what salt is and how it tastes, but try and describe it. That is what I felt like when I sat down to describe what hope is. It started me on a journey to discover more about hope.
One of the questions I asked was, what is the opposite of hope? Despair is the opposite of hope. Perhaps you have experienced a time of despair. Despair comes from the trials and tribulations around us, from doubt, from negativity, and whatever else that may come into our lives which causes that loss of hope. Some good reflective questions to ask oneself are: What caused me to lose hope? What would it take to help restore hope back into my life?
I see hope as a light for a better situation, of a better moment in time, a better tomorrow. I see hope as optimism, positivity, seeing possible outcomes and receiving the motivation to keep moving towards it. I see hope as resiliency and bouncing back towards our goals. I see hope as the light at the end of the tunnel and as long as I keep moving towards it then that light will once again surround me.
In marriage, continually arguing and negative interactions can lead to a loss of hope, or a feeling of despair. We just want to give up, why bother, what is the point. We don’t want to keep working towards the dream we started out with when we got married. Having hope in all things in our marriage is not giving up! Hope in marriage keeps us striving for that dream we had when we got married. For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that dream is to be an eternal family and continuing on with them forever because of the love we had when we were sealed in the Holy Temple. I testify that dream is possible! Even though, at times I have lost hope and that dream seemed like it would never happen, I continued on having hope in my Savior Jesus Christ and allowed the hope I had in Him carry me forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, as I continually sought after Him.
The key to keeping ourselves hopeful is to have hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is through His Atonement people and situations can change and have a change of heart. Allowing ourselves to be grateful in all things can also bring us hope. Looking beyond ourselves and our situation can bring us hope as well.
Today I received in an email this explanation of a Japanese tradition called Kintsugi. It is the restoration of broken objects with gold so the cracks are illuminated, not hidden. The belief behind it is that the pottery is more beautiful for having been broken. In marriage there will be times when despair settles in through cracks and brokenness that may occurr. When we restore the cracks and brokenness with hope then we can embrace those struggles and repair the brokenness with love and letting the light of Christ illuminate the beauty and the growth that takes place.
I really found this tradition interesting because I have a few broken treasures that I have glued back together, not with gold unfortunately. They still have great meaning to them because I worked harder to preserve them then my other little treasures that haven’t been broken. I like the idea behind them being broken and I did not just toss them away. I still had hope they could be beautiful as I pieced them back together. It is the same in our marriages. Without cracks and brokenness there is no real growth. Keeping hope through all of this will replace our cracks and brokenness with refined and pure gold.