Well spring break is over and it is time to get back into the swing of things.
I find the more I learn and understand about communication the better I am able to evaluate myself and why I do some of the things I do. It helps me to understand my standpoint (background, culture, upbringing) and the standpoint of others. It also helps me to realize changes I need to make. The changes don’t come easy. Our communication skills are learned. If some of our learned skills need to be changed then we need to unlearn them and replace them with better ones. The only way to do this is to be consciously aware of them and on purpose try to change them, easier said than done! This is why I only give a little information at a time. It provides a little time for us all to think about how the information applies to us and how we can implement it into our lives.
I found these listening styles interesting. According to my book there are four of them. I will start off with Relational Listening. Relational listeners “are mostly concerned with emotionally connecting with others." (Adler, Elmhorst & Lucas, 2012 pg 60) This tends to lean more towards a female characteristic although some men are tuned in with this type of listening. Some of the characteristics are paying attention to emotions and how others feel, listeners are highly responsive, are nonjudgmental, they strive to be more understanding and supportive rather than evaluating. Relational listening brings positive benefits for both the sender and the receiver. There are some negative aspects as well. A relational listener needs to be careful so as not to become overly involved or internalize and adopt the feelings of the sender. If this happens it may affect the abilities to assess information properly.
Next, is the Analytical Listener. Analytical listeners want to get the full message before making any judgments. They are detail oriented and like to look at things with different perspectives. It can be a time consuming approach. It can be helpful with difficult situations.
A Task Oriented Listener is someone that likes to get the job done. They want people to get to the point quickly and stay on topic. I decided this is the one I fall under. If I have something I need to do then that is exactly how I feel. Say what you need to say so I can get done what I need to get done. I have over the years had to tell myself to sit down, relax, and give the sender my full attention. If I don’t do this and they ramble on they lose me really quick.
The last one is the Critical listener. This is someone that evaluates messages. There focus is accuracy and consistency of the message. They sometimes will use the analytical approach to help understand.
Which type of listener are you? It definitely is possible to apply one or more of these while listening.
There is also the mindless listening that happens. This happens when we react routinely to others without even thinking about it. The mindful listener gives careful and thoughtful attention to responses.
Adler, R., Elmhorst, J., & Lucas, K. (2012). Communication at work. Mcgraw Hill. Pg 65 & 66