Many of us grew up with the princess fairy tale stories of living life happily ever after with the partner of choice. Even my little granddaughter loves the many princess stories. When we make our marital commitment, is that the end of all struggles? The fairy tales would have us believe so. However, many people when first married do not really understand or know the extent of difficulties that may come into their married life. What can we do to help strengthen our relationships from this point forward in our lives to be connected emotionally and avoid many pitfalls that can and will make enduring all things seem impossible?
The dictionary defines the word “endure” as suffering patiently and remaining in existence. Let’s tie back into the first article from this series. It is about long suffering. Charity then, starts with long suffering and ends with suffering patiently. Everything in between, being kind, envieth not, not being puffed up, seeketh not her own, not being easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoicing in truth, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things leads us through the long suffering with patience and love.
Where the real charity comes from is building upon the rock of our Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus taught us in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7 that whosoever builds upon the rock will not fall when the winds and the storms come. He that builds on the sand will be washed away. The only way we can build upon our Savior Jesus Christ is to include Him as a third partner in our marriage. We utilize the tools He has given us to learn more about Him and that will help us to become more like Him. These tools are:
Daily prayer
Daily scripture study
Keeping our marriage covenants
Attending church
For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints attending the temple at least once a month together
Hold family councils and couple councils.
Keep communication channels open and continually be working on improving communication skills.
Manage conflict by being open minded and willing to collaborate. Look at conflict as an opportunity to problem solve! It can be very rewarding when we set aside differences and personal desires to look at the bigger picture of things.
Create a safe environment for conflict to happen.
Develop active listening skills. Seek to understand by asking open-ended questions.
Collaborate and approach your problem solving with a win-win outcome.
Manage yourselves and your situations wisely.
We don’t want to just endure and be miserable through it. Men are that they might have joy. We want to endure with joy in our lives. We can do this by expressing gratitude daily, by having faith, hope, and charity so we can look through tough situations through the eyes of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I invite all of you to apply these principles in your relationships and you will be blessed and strengthened with greater love and charity in your marriage and in your family.